Detroit Scandal

These last few months have produced belly laughs for those of us outside Michigan. All this was at the expense of Detroit, its oh-so-talented but sometimes-immature Mayor and his alleged paramour. There are those steamy text messages between the mayor and his chief of staff, offers of kinky sex, and mid-day tryst in city hall offices.

But Detroit remains one of America's great cities, and it's time for the laughter to end. Likewise Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's standoff with the justice system must end.

This problem cries out for intervention by Detroit's wise elders - of which there are many. Those who've taken one side or the other won't qualify. They've lost the moral authority to be honest brokers. Others who've watched sadly and without comment must now step forward to forge a resolution.

I understand this is criminal not civil. Still Detroit's Wise Old Heads can help craft a solution for the good of the City. A reasonable solution will bring this debacle to speedy conclusion without punishing ordinary citizens.

Here's a solution I believe meets that criterion. All charges state (and contemplated federal charges if any) are resolved in a single agreement. Mayor Kilpatrick resigns his office, pleads guilty to one felony count and receives a three-year suspended prison sentence. As a condition of the suspended sentence Mayor Kilpatrick must repay Wayne County's investigative and prosecution costs. Also, he must repay Detroit $2 million toward the cost of the whistle-blower lawsuit settlement.

First, let's talk money. Many well-meaning folks will contribute to Mayor Kilpatrick's Defense Fund. Such contributions are a kind of wealth transfer from Detroit to Chicago lawyers and Dallas jury consultants. Recipients of this transfer will spend the money buying foreign cars, foreign art, foreign designer clothes and other accoutrements that scream: DETROIT IS SO YESTERDAY. It's better to have Kilpatrick's well-wishers contribute to helping the Mayor repay Detroit and Wayne County.

The main verdict in the whistle-blower lawsuit is the result of hubris and stupidity. When we give wide-eyed politicians our votes we should accept the consequences of their hubris and stupidity. That's why I don't think Mayor Kilpatrick should be responsible for the entire settlement amount.

However, he appears to have grossly abused his office by authorizing a higher settlement in apparent effort to keep secret his private indiscretions. That's why he should repay part of the settlement amount.

Of course, many argue that Kilpatrick's indiscretions merit actual jail. One entrusted with so much should be punished severely for his lawlessness, they reason.

That's a powerful argument, but it misses an import point: Societies must make choices when allocating resources. To lock one in prison is expensive and should be done as a last resort, not a first option. This is especially true in a city and state already battling financial hard times.

Perhaps it would be different if the Dark Angel of Foreclosure had passed over Detroit without stopping. Maybe if city schools were adequately funded and city police rolls were at optimum levels. Maybe if local businesses quickly added jobs instead of trimming them. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Understand, what I propose is a kind of political death penalty for Mayor Kilpatrick. We should extract a high price for his folly, but that price shouldn't be paid by ordinary folks already struggling from day-to-day.

And what about the Mayor's trusted sidekick. Christine Beatty is a caricature of the other woman: scowling at news cameras, berating subordinates and generally behaving like Empress of the Manor.

Nonetheless, Ms. Beatty is a bit player in this drama. What happens to her isn't all that important to Detroit. Yet in fairness her punishment should be similar to the mayor's though perhaps less severe.

What I've proposed won't work for anyone personally. It will, however, help a great city closeout a circus sideshow, and get back to serious business. All who love Detroit should at least consider it.