10 Reasons Why Young Republicans Will Vote Democrat This Election

As the election for the President of the United States comes closer, many are wondering as to what way the young republicans will use their vote. Living in Denver, Colorado, the land of liberals, I cannot help but to feel the hatred toward me when I state that I am a republican. I have never been told some many times in my life that I am wrong. So, after serious consideration and soul searching, I came up with the top ten reasons why young Republicans will vote for a democrat during the election.

1. The Evangelical Vote

   We have been labeled, as Republicans, bible thumping fundamentalists that pray to snakes. That is quite the opposite. We pray to money. Get it straight liberals.

2. Ann Coulter

   We are fairly sure that Ann Coulter is the Anti-Christ. Please refer to reason number 1.

3. Sean Hannity

   My God, the name makes my skin crawl. What a dork! He sits there on his talk show and writes with a permanent marker. You know what he is doing with that marker between commercials right? He is sniffing it and getting high. That can be the only explanation for his childish behavior. He gives us all a bad name.

4. Gay Marriage

   This is an issue that we cannot rap our head around; why does it matter is Adam marries Steve. I thought Christians are about acceptance? Please refer to reason 1 for further explanation.

5. Pornography

   We love it! Just look at our AmEx bills!

6. Women's Rights

   We are all for women working in business. We, as CEO's, need to have people working under us. Plus, if our wives are as busy as us, they will not notice all the time we spend drinking scotch and smoking cigars.

7. The War in Iraq

   We swear to God, we thought that Bush was one of us. He clearly is not.

8. Immigration

   We want people to come here illegally. We are able to then arrest them and send them back. This gives us job security.

9. Obama

   This is the slavery guilt vote.

10. We Are Tired of Being Blamed for Everything

    Seriously, it is time to give this over to the democrats and see if they can truly do it better. They have had the house for sometime and nothing has changed. The great part of putting a Democrat in office is that eventually we will have to put another Republican in.