It's time I come clean with you meddlers. I, Danielcoleslaw, have been working for the Illuminati all along! You may have revealed the truth behind our evil schemes, from our complicity in the World Trade Center, to our secret messages in The Simpsons Movie, but rest assured, these are but minor setbacks in our nefarious schemes for World Conquest!
To be sure, your constant relaying of internet videos, and holding meetings where you watch Loose Change, and giving money to Prisonplanet.com have been a thorn in our side. And when you sat on your asses watching V For Vendetta, well there were a few shudders around the Castle of Doom. But our sinister designs have been too long in the making to be foiled by a few rotten kids with dvd players and internet connections!
Make no mistake about it you meddling runts, soon you shall be slaves, working to build great temples and serving fine wine to your Level 33 and higher Freemason Masters! And that is to say nothing of what will become of the fairer among you, who shall be selected for a more, shall we say, intimate purpose.
From high atop our Castle of Doom, swirled by the many dragons for whom our fatter subjects will make a most fitting meal, I scoff at your pitiful attempts to undermine our designs to conquer the puny inhabitants of this world! Oh, post comments on David Icke Youtube videos while you can, my most unworthy opponents. His severed head shall make a fine addition to the throne room of our shape-shifting, reptilian overlords!
Behold! Yes behold our might ruler Reptilius XVII in all of his glory! Tremble before his awe-inspiring might! Soon he shall lay waste to your cities, make concubines of your children and rule over you with an iron (err, reptilian) fist! Oh how you shall rue the day you wore your 911truth.org shirts in public then! Yes, oh yes it is only a matter of time before you kneel feebly before his throne, begging for mercy for your meager attempts to oppose him! Yet you shall find none, and for you Reptilius XVII has prepared his greatest torments!
The time is coming, o impediments to our dark mission! Too long have we waited! Too long have we planned our evil scheme of world domination to be stopped now!
But I grow weary of your trifling interference! So I offer you a small mercy. Surrender now, and be spared. Those who do shall be granted slightly less horrific toil in the Factories of Despair for their loyalty! Those who do not accept my most generous charity shall suffer the greatest agonies imaginable!
Think it over, but choose wisely, for resistance is futile!
