JUDGE: Where you there, Mr Watermelon?
WATERMELON: No, Your Honor.
ROWAN-BERRY: Then how can he be so sure? If my Learned Friend intends to raise an objection may I suggest he refrains from letting his mouth make statements his intellect cannot cover.
WATERMELON: Your Honor!
JUDGE: I entirely agree with the sentiment expressed by Counsel for the Defence. You're a fool, Mr Watermelon.
ROWAN-BERRY: I'm obliged to Your Honor. Now, Mr Tangerine. Will you kindly tell the court what happened to you after you were transported into the UFO?
TANGERINE: It's...it's embarrassing.
ROWAN-BERRY: I realize that. And this is why you didn't mention it to the police. Because you were scared they'd make fun of you. Am I right?
TANGERINE: That's right.
ROWAN-BERRY: But try and tell us now. I can assure you that no one will laugh at you. You have my word on that.
TANGERINE: They...they made me drop my trousers and bend over a table.
ROWAN-BERRY: Who? These aliens?
WATERMELON: Your Honor!
JUDGE: Be silent. I want to hear this.
TANGERINE: Yeah, the aliens. They were just like the ones you hear about. They have these almond shaped heads and big black eyes.
ROWAN-BERRY: And what did they do to you?
TANGERINE: They...they...
ROWAN-BERRY: Take it slowly. There's no rush.
WATERMELON: Your Honor! I really must protest.
JUDGE: Be silent, Mr Watermelon! Or I'll be forced to charge you with contempt of court.
TANGERINE: They inserted something into my back passage.
ROWAN-BERRY: Something?
TANGERINE: It looked like a stainless steel probe with a flashing red light on the end.
JUDGE: You must have a very unique back passage, Mr Tangerine.
TANGERINE: Just an ordinary one, Your Honor.
JUDGE: Come now, Mr Tangerine. These aliens traveled hundreds of light years through the galaxy just to examine it.
ROWAN-BERRY: Have you told anyone else about this?
TANGERINE: I told Doctor Foster.
JUDGE: Doctor Foster?
ROWAN-BERRY: Yes, Your Honor. He has a consulting room in Gloucester.
WATERMELON: Doctor Foster from Gloucester, eh? Does he by any chance live next door to Mother Goose?
ROWAN-BERRY: Very droll. But I can assure my Learned Friend that Doctor Foster does exist. He's a psychiatrist. You've been seeing Doctor Foster for about a month now, am I right, Mr Tangerine?
TANGERINE: That's right.
ROWAN-BERRY: And could you please tell the court what Doctor Foster thinks is wrong with you?
TANGERINE: He reckons I'm related to a German Baron.
JUDGE: A German Baron?
ROWAN-BERRY: My client is referring to Von Munchausen, Your Honor.
JUDGE: I think I've heard enough. Unless the Prosecution can come up with a good reason not to, I intend to stop this case and discharge the jury.
