Hartford, CT - In the history of humankind, we as a race have been able to achieve remarkable feats, from putting a man on the moon, to exploring the depths of the ocean. This week, however, a local woman has done something that has never been done by any human since the dawn of time. She has won the "Best Dressed Elephant" contest, sponsored by the Hartford Zoo.
“At first, I was a little embarrassed,” said Hartford's own Margaret Brown, 64. “I mean, imaging how you would feel if you were enjoying a nice Saturday at the zoo, and the next thing you know you are handed a trophy that claims you are the Best Dressed Elephant. But now, I'm sort of enjoying all the attention.”
Margaret, along with her husband Chuck, had planned on spending a nice quiet day out, when their collective world was set on its ear. They had heard about the annual event, now in its 18th year, occurring that day at the elephant pin.
The contest, which is a popular fund raiser for the zoo, teams a group of zookeepers up with each of the elephants owned by the zoo. The keepers have some fun dressing up each of the elephants in fun bows, studded dog collars, or whatever the elephant will put up with. Popular opinion of the outfits are judged by which elephant the crowd cheers the loudest for. Bragging rights, as well as a yearlong supply of extra elephant treats, are the reward for the winning team.
“I was really enjoying all of the excitement,” said Margaret. “I especially liked the baby elephant with the leather chaps on. Just then, a man in a zoo blazer walked over to me and handed me the trophy. I guess they mistook me for an elephant, or something.”
Samuel Jenkins, President of the Hartford Zoo, was the man in the blazer, and at the time of this report had not returned our phone calls. While he was not available for comment on the case of mistaken identity, Zoo Chairperson Susan Tillman reported that the situation “was being handled.”
And how is the Best Dressed Elephant's husband handling all of this?
“Well, I just hope she takes the hint,” said Mr. Brown. “Quite frankly, I've been telling her for years that she looks like an elephant. Hell, she looks ghastly most all of the time. Maybe now she'll start putting some makeup on in the mornings.”
