Human authorities in Vancouver, WA have been unsuccessful at finding the now notorious Naked Mouse, as first sighted by a Naked Mouse Snob. After searching for days, with no suspects and only one interrogation under their belts, the Dog Link Detectives were brought in on the case.
Dog Link Detectives are a group of Private Investigators, available for hire only by posting a current and correct message, known only to the proper authorities, to Tsilsgiarc.org. The Dog P.I.s sent in on this case are none other than Moe T. Poodle and Yenna S. Poodle.
Moe T. Poodle, a ten pound black toy poodle and Yenna S. Poodle, a fifty pound black standard poodle, both introduced themselves by first requesting the proper scent of the Vancouver City Mayor.
The Vancouver City Mayor states, I'm sure these are the best the Dog Link Detectives have on their force, but I'm a bit surprised these poodles don't look like poodles. Moe T. Poodle, for instance only has one poof on her tail. Yenna S. Poodle actually has mats in her ears! Clearly, she's just come in on this case from a tough job. The City of Vancouver is honored to have these two Private Investigators on the case.
When asked about their questionable and a bit unprofessional appearance, Detective Moe answered stiffly and succinctly, We're not sissy poodles.
Next steps in the case of the Naked Mouse include bringing the Dog Link Detectives up to sniff with the smells of the place the naked mouse was last seen at Tedac Manufacturing. The two P.I.s will also meet with the first person reporting the incident, Jayme Hunt, Tedac's Elcaro Database Administrator. They will also meet with the network administrator, Natalie Metzger, who was the first to mention the mouse drug Lavender.
The Dog Link Detectives P.I.s of the past have been known to get a little ruff with their interrogations, so the City of Vancouver have insisted they be allowed to assign their own man, a highly skilled Dog Whisperer, to the case who's sole purpose will be to intervene on behalf of the witnesses, should things get out of paw.
When asked about this unusual turn of events for The Dog Link Detectives, Detective Moe T. Poodle only snarled, This'll put a cramp in my licking strategy. The tongue always tips the truth out of "em if you lick in certain places like their ears, up noses, and on a human"s lips. Threaten that kind of licking, and they'll spill their guts. You just snake your tongue at them and they crack.
Detective Yenna S. Poodle completely agreed with the imposed interference. We may be recalled from the case with these kinds of restrictions. Chief Molly T. Poodle won't like it very much. She may even recall the codes from the Mayor of the City of Vancouver.
The Chief of the Dog Link Detectives was unavailable for comment, due to the fact that the codes required for a Tsilsgiarc.org listing are not shared with the press. The Vancouver City Mayor refused to post the question to the site on our behalf, stating it was a petty request.
