One of the biggest concerns for our society is that things are trying to change too fast and in such a way that it offends the narrow minds of the world. How are we ever going to unite as a species if we're not all thinking alike? We must all conform to the standards of those few people in power who only have everyone's best interests at heart.
These closed-minded people are a great benefit to society. They are there solely to save the future generations from disastrous things like gay marriage, free speech, freedom of choice, individual thought, a non-religious nation, and a country without the Ten Commandments posted in every building. They give the open-minded people something to talk about and to agree upon. They show how important change, or lack thereof, is to good growth and development, not only socially but physically and mentally also, for if it were not for change taking place, the closed-minded people would have nothing to protect impressionable minds from.
For example, the people that are dead-set against gays having any benefits whatsoever show others how awful it is for gays, how cursed one would be if they were homosexual, and how wrong it is that they try to corrupt others by forming organizations to promote sexuality and talk about being gay. These people are protecting our children from growing up in a world where they would see two men or two women be together openly and that be accepted.
Another example is the religious zealots who keep the general public interested and enthused with organized religion by blanketing the nation with their beliefs and ideas about what is right and wrong so that no unwitting innocent can be led astray by such evil tactics as suggestive television and music and become unable to differentiate between myth and reality.
I propose that a theocracy be firmly set into place to deal with this mess. George W. will be the dictator. He will first export all liberals to either Canada, France, Britain, or Australia, whichever country he can pronounce correctly. After taking care of that group, he will make sure that there is a copy of the Ten Commandments in every public building in the United States, along with it's territories and other possessions, and require everyone to attend a church of some Christian denomination every Sunday. He will form a committee dedicated to monitoring and censoring any and all forms of media to prevent any “out of the box” ideas from corrupting the good citizens and that will have much more control than the FCC ever dreamed of. School prayer will be reinstated since everyone will follow the same religion anyway. Abortion and gay marriage will be illegal.
Immigration will be stopped in order to prevent the introduction of new ideas or imposing cultures. And to keep the oil market flowing well for the consumers, drilling will be done on land preserves that have fragile environments. How can anyone help but feel complete benevolence for this courageous group of people who idealize a modern utopian society that can be easily attained if we would only listen to them and conform to their standards and blindly submit ourselves to the closed-minded bliss?
DON'T PANIC
