"It's just not fair!"
Those were John McCain's first words on hearing of the death of Barack Obama's beloved Grandmother.
"He's been helped by the media, his campaign supported by dangerous contributors of small dollar amounts, given a pass on having been the mastermind of terrorist plots since he was eight years old, and now this! His grandmother dies the day before the election, AND THEY ANNOUNCE IT PUBLICLY!! Where is the outrage at such scurrilous political dirty tricks? How can I possibly compete with such lowdown, unAmerican grandstanding when MY grandmother didn't have the damn consideration to stick around long enough to do such a thing for me?"
Mr. McCain's campaign legal team is drawing up the paperwork for a challenge to this entire election, based on the accusation that the announcement of Obama's grandmother's death should have been delayed by at least 48 hours in order not to interfere with this most important of elections. An unnamed insider told this reporter that the candidate would demand that the Supreme Court intervene, and order the current President to declare Martial Law until such time as the electorate is ready to make the "right decision."
From a remote and undisclosed location, Vice President Dick Cheney called this reporter to suggest we investigate whether this death was by natural causes, or if Mr. Obama may have actually contracted for this well-timed death.
"It's what I would have done in his position" the Vice President said.
