A few weeks ago in the news, I read that an iceberg the size of Connecticut is breaking off from the Antarctic Peninsula. Far lefties will now declare that every car must be traded in for a bicycle and far righties will declare that this just shows that the South Pole is liberal and is merely adding fuel to that "whole global warming thing" (while the North Pole -- with Santa Claus and all -- supports family values). Right next to this very newsworthy event was a ridiculous story about a congressman's release of a 109 page report about whether the baseball player Roger Clemens or his sports trainer lied about steroid use. Did we really elect and pay our congressional representatives to issue 100+ page reports about whether or not a baseball player shot himself up with Vitamin B? I don't care if Roger Clemens is the greatest pitcher to ever play the game, I don't want my elected officials spending this much time ON A GAME.
Tiddly Wink Scandal Next On The Congressional Agenda?
Rumor has it that the National Tiddlywink Champion may have greased his opponents' chips so they couldn't get the proper friction needed for a successful tiddly. But I don't want Congress investigating it. Maybe if we spent less time worrying about whether a dude throwing a ball is doping up and more time worrying about one of our poles breaking off...one of our poles wouldn't be breaking off. And Congress wonders why its ratings are so low.
