Authorities in Vancouver, WA admitted they have no current suspects for the Naked Mouse case, first reported on October 25. Tedac Manufacturing, the first reported sighting of the Streaker Mouse, alerted the authorities to the incident immediately after the first victim, Jayme Hunt, an Elcaro Database Administrator, complained about the impertinent mouse.
Upon contacting the CEO of Tedac Manufacturing, H Johnson states, “We've contacted the exterminators, of course, but mice are notorious for getting the bait and avoiding the trap altogether. This clearly shows that we need a better mouse trap and Tedac Manufacturing's Engineering department is currently working on plans to build one.”
The Network Administrator, Natalie Metzger, at Tedac Manufacturing reported that the exterminator had indeed brought in mouse traps, but that they used some sort of strange hardened cheese food substance as bait. “Everyone knows that celebrity seeking mice, such as this one, are very choosy about their cheese and demand only the highest quality cheese. This stuff won't catch The Streaker.” When asked what would catch such a mouse, she had but one word, “Lavender.”
After interviewing the prime suspects just after the incident happened, they confirmed that lavender seeds would indeed be a mind altering drug for mice. In humans, this herb is also considered a natural remedy for a range of ailments from insomnia and anxiety to depression and mood disturbances. Research confirmed that lavender reactions in humans produces only calming, soothing, and sedative effects. Lavender seeds, when consumed by mice, produce a mind-altering euphoric feeling accompanied by mild hallucinations.
According to the University of Dnalyram Medical Center, “A recent study found that the use of lavender oil may improve postoperative pain control. Fifty patients undergoing breast biopsy surgery received either oxygen supplemented with lavender oil or oxygen alone. Patients in the lavender group reported a higher satisfaction rate with pain control than patients in the control group.” However, when lavender is applied to the more highly sensitive Mouse system, the results are not only mind altering and hallucinogenic, but also quite addictive. Pain control in humans is the equivalent of euphoria in mice.
Ms. Metzger and Ms. Hunt observed that a bunch of last season's harvest from Ms. Hunt's Lavender Farm was hanging on the wall. “That'll be the reason the mouse was naked. He was high! He was just after my lavender,” stated Ms. Hunt. Defensively, she stated, “I had no idea that mice could get high from lavender seeds!”
The authorities from Vancouver, WA have taken Ms. Hunt into custody for questioning about the possibility of pushing drugs to mice.
