Chopper Suffers Frame Damage - Ruben Stoddard Takes a Diet
(AP) Birmingham, AL - "The Velvet Teddy Bear," took some much needed R&R earlier this week. After brief cameos in Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, Karaoke Revolution Presents: American Idol and Natural Born Komics, Studdard became "tired and listless," according to his mother. "My baby needed to take some time for himself "cause he's been working too hard."
Since 2003 Studdard has done 38 different things. According to sources close to "the bear," and because of a struggle with his weight, he should have taken more time to relax. "After his 5 minute appearance on 8 Simple Rules, I noticed Ruben was sweating a lot and the folds on the back of his neck were glistening. He got like real pale and it looked like he might fall down," said Bernie Schwartz, 8 Simple Rules set janitor.
Because of his hectic, stressful schedule over the past 4 years, Studdard decided to take the advice of those close to him and take it easy for a couple of years. So Studdard made the arduous 10 minute ride to the other side of town in Birmingham Tuesday to enjoy some rest.
Included was a stroll in the fresh air, a diet Coke and a helicopter ride to rest in the clouds.
Studdard apparently lied about his weight when pilot Jim Schmekenbeck told him of the restriction. "I said he looked a little "bloated" that day and reminded him of the 270 pound weight restriction. I said we couldn't take him up if he was more than that. He assured me he was sporting an all time low of 247 and that he had been fasting for the past two days. I should have known he was BS-ing me when I noticed the blot of mustard on his chin."
Upon take off the chopper shrieked and shimmied under the stress of its attempt to lift Studdard off the ground. The pilot tried to compensate by adjusting the level of the machine with the cyclic control stick. Unfortunately, such compensation was futile. "I threw the stick to the right hoping that it would shift the tremendous amount of weight in the cabin," Schmekenbeck told reporters, "I pulled up and the whole vehicle just tilted and went down on [Ruben's] side."
Helicopter Buckles Under Weight
After stabilizing the vehicle, Schmekenbeck inspected the copter. "He killed my chopper, man. The whole frame is bent and it will cost a fortune to repair - if I can do it at all."
Studdard was not immediately available for comment and did not return the Associated Press' calls.
"When he got out, his entourage ran over to see that he was okay. I was like, "forget him - look at my helicopter… who's gonna pay for it?"
Studdard was quoted as saying, "sorry I busted your copter, bub but I don't have no money."
Schmekenbeck vows to sue Studdard to recompense him for repairs and because this is his livelihood, lost wages.
