I should try to ignore for a day or two all the childish games being played by the politicians. It is just that those childish games affect my daily life in a very negative way. I truly hope I am wrong but did I see on the news last night that congress is taking another break at the end of this week? Are they taking another break without resolving the issues that affect all of us? Someone please tell me I heard wrong and our congress is not going to take another break while we suffer. This is one of those times when I am happy to have someone point out a senior moment on my part. Go ahead and tell me that congress is not taking a break right now… someone… please?

Barack Obama and John McCain, two members of that congress who want to be President, sure seem to be silent with respect to solutions for America's issues. However, John McCain's campaign has released a video that likens Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Be honest, I bet you never thought you would see those four names in the same sentence. Oh, and Barack Obama's campaign answered the McCain campaign's immature video with one of its own, just as immature. Some things should not be dignified with a response. The McCain campaign's video was one of those things.

Trust me the Obama campaign breathed a sigh of relief when they saw the McCain campaign video. It gave them the opportunity to avoid addressing real issues. The two campaigns wasted time and money on video advertisements that do not address one issue affecting American's lives. Political advertisements that include Britney Spears and Paris Hilton cannot possible solve anything relevant to my life. I wish it were that easy.

I think it is time to put both Senators back to work in Washington D.C., or send them both home to look for gainful employment. Do we really need anyone in congress who has time to travel the world or produce childish videos that address nothing relevant?

How much time have those two actually spent in their Washington offices this year? How many votes have they missed? Why should we, the voters who will make one of them the President, believe either one of them is qualified for the Oval Office? What have they accomplished that qualifies them for the government housing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?

Work with me here; imagine that I am in a position to resolve an issue, but I have done address it. However, I want you to give me new job, with more pay, a nicer house in which to live and a really nice 747 in which to fly around. If you do that I will start resolving the issues I cannot seem to address now. Please, forget my track record.

I should point out here that my current employer expects me to actually come to work and do my job in a timely manner, with a reasonable degree of accuracy. He is so narrow-minded about that! In exchange for me actually doing my job he allows me to keep that job. If I stop doing my job, my employer is not going to consider me for a promotion, but he will make my talents available to the marketplace. Yes, the aforementioned narrow minded man will terminate my employment; go figure!

Mr. Obama and Mr. McCain have not been on the job much this year and neither can say they have done the job we pay them to do, yet they are they are campaigning to be promoted into a job that will be vacant the first of next year. I do not have a warm fuzzy feeling about promoting either one of them at this time. In fact I think it is time to make their respective talents available to the marketplace. We need to replace them, along with some of their colleagues. We should not promote either of them.

That means the vacancy in that funny shaped office down the street from the nation's Capitol Building may not be filled right away. You know what; that is okay with me. Is it time to actually give that job to someone who has performed well in another job? Should we perhaps look for someone who can point to past accomplishments and present a detailed action plan for today? We need the action today. John, Barack, Britney and Paris together in a video, is not magic for me. Let's have a competition for White House job, not a campaign. Let's make someone earn the title of President. What a concept!

Ending months of speculation, President Nicolas Sarkozy of France finally made the announcement with his two burqa-clad wives standing beside him. At the Charles de Gaulle Airport before boarding an official Air France airliner for Mecca to perform the Haj, Sarkozy announced his new found faith and did not hide the fact that he was influenced by his two spouses, believe to be of French-Moroccan descents. He also said that one day, he hope France will become an Islamic Republic as the Muslim population has already exceeded half, a fact that had been kept under wrap by the census board for many years already.

2. Coup: Clinton seizes power, declared herself President

Vice President Hillary Clinton seizes power in a bloodless coup early this morning. President Obama evades arrest and escaped to the Bahamas in a military helicopter. In a move that was to forever change the face of American history, Vice President Hillary Clinton with the help of the US Army top brass swooped in with tanks and elite troops of the 101st Airborne Division surrounding the White House. However bodyguards loyal to President Obama were able to whisk him and his family to a waiting helicopter and escaped into the chill of the early morning. A few gunshots were heard in the compound of the White House, presumably between the rebels and the loyalists but there was no report of casualties. At press time, it is learnt that Obama had flew to the Bahamas to set up a government-in-exile.

3. Secret DNA test proves Angela Merkel is the daughter of Hitler

Did Adolf Hitler have any offspring? This intriguing poser was finally answered when Chancellor Angela Merkel agreed to a DNA test to match her genes with a known Hitler's living first cousin, 93 years old Magritte Hopfgardner. The test was to be done on the condition that it must be kept secret and irrespective of the result. As it turned out, the result was positive. However the laboratory technician defied his superior's order and sold the story for 2 million euros to a German tabloid, the Bild.

4. Texas declares independence from the US

The fiercely parochial state of Texas had long been famous for its independent streak, and Texans are perpetually thumbing their noses at Washington for mistreatments, real or perceived. Taking the advantages while the White House faced the turrets of tanks from forces loyal to Hillary Clinton, The Texas governor flew the Lone Star flag from the rostrum of the Houston Astrodome, proudly announced the birth of Republic of Texas, and inspects a guard of honour manned by the newly formed Texas Revolutionary Army. The ceremony ended with shouts of “Remember the Alamo!” At press time, it was learnt that the states of Mississippi, Missouri and Georgia were also contemplating the same move.

5. China paid 1 billion euros to FIFA to fix matches to the World Cup in 2016

Knowing that their country will never win the soccer world's most coveted cup if every game were to be played by the book, the FA of China concocted a plan to snatch the Cup on the sly. A reward of 1 billion dollars was subtly dangled before the 5 top honchos of FIFA, and they took the bait. The five man team swung into action, devising a most complex plan, which includes rigging draws to put China into easy groups, and fixing prequalification matches and even outright bribery. But before the plot could be brought to full hatchery, a disgruntled member, presumably being shortchanged on the payout, blew the whistle and exposed the whole scandal to The Sun for… you guess it… an undisclosed fee rumoured to be in the millions pounds.

6. Ahmadinejad sets condition for abandoning nuclear programme: Hold Olympics in Iran.

In a desperate attempt to shore up his plunging popularity, President Ahmadinejad has done it again. This time, the charismatic leader, who over the years claimed to have built up a yet unconfirmed stockpile of nuclear warheads, decide to play the bluff by demanding that the coming summer Olympics be held in Iran in return for his country's giving up of the nuclear programme. As his country is already wrecked by economic chaos, he was also quick to add that all the cost of staging the Games be borne by all participating nations. "Based on my calculation for the costs of the Game, my demand is very reasonable. It's a fair price to pay for world peace."

7. Israel agrees to relocate to northwest corner of Australia.

Wealthy members of the Organization of Islamic Countries, flushed with cash from years of lofty crude oil price of US200 per barrel, pooled together a gigantic fund to buy out Israel, thus ending decades of Middle East conflict. A piece of real estate the size and shape of present day Israel was purchased at a whopping cost of US 1 trillion dollars at the north west corner of Australia. A further 10 trillion US dollars was compensated to the Israel for the buildings, factories and all immovable assets. Each Israel citizen is to receive a further 10 million dollars, thus making the new state of Israel the richest country per capita by far in the world. The new name for the state was unanimously agreed to be Republic of Ausrael. State religion remains Judaism.

8. Queen Elizabeth swims across the English Channel.

Getting tired of people take pot shot at her health, the queen put all rumours to rest by taking the plunge into the cold waters of the English Channel. However she was clothed in a custom-made full swimming suit revealing not a square inch of flesh except her face, palms and ankles, prompting many disappointed paparazzis to turn away without even taking a shot. As a security measure, she used a tethered life-vest and had to be hauled up to her royal yacht every 30 minutes for some rest and tea. Prince Charles was conspicuously absent from the whole event as any exercise to enhance the longevity of the queen was not on his priority list. However the frail Prince Philip was on the side of the yacht to urge her on with a loud hailer held up by his grandson Prince William. The whole swim from Dover to Dunkirk took five days.

9. Stonehenge stolen. Ransom of 100 million pounds demanded.

“Rocknappers” demand 100 million pounds for the return of the massive Stonehenge rocks mysteriously hauled away during the weekend. Police are baffled as to how such massive heist can be perpetrated. Members of the Association of Witches of England were the first to condemn the heinous act and vowed to use all their powers, supernatural or otherwise, to nab the culprits. Said Marion St James, the Grand Witch “We cannot possibly conduct our rituals without the backdrop of the Stonehenge. Hence we will not leave any stone unturned to recover it.”

10. Paris Hilton marries Arab sheikh.

Paris Hilton loved the Burj al Arab so much, that after lengthy discussion and advice from Britney Spears ("anything that sounds like my baby's burp sounds good"), decided to marry its owner Saleem al Salad. Babbling excitedly in her new burqa, Paris checks into her permanent suite at the top floor complete with swimming pool and a phalanx of servant girls. She will be throwing a house warming party soon for gang member like George Bush, Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse, Robbie Williams, Motley Crue and anyone with body tattoos. Dress code: Strictly Burqa (Black color only).

Princess P's best friend, Nicole Richey, who is also famous for having a famous father, Lionel Richey just gave birth to a beautiful baby with boyfriend Joel Madden. When Richey became pregnant, Paris wanted to get pregnant as well. Who has a baby because her on again, off again friend does? I guess she hated the fact that the spotlight was on someone else for a change.

Although she dresses trashy and she can be seen in an x-rated video, Hilton claims to not be a slut. During an interview with Regis and Kelly, she states "One-night stands are not for me. I think it's gross when you just give it up. Guys want you more, if you don't just hand it to them on a platter."

What are some of Paris' other accomplishments? A bad driving record, bad movies, bad relationships, and being voted 2007 Guiness Book of World Records “Most Over-rated Celebrity”. She is the author of Confessions of an Heiress and Your Heiress Diary. I would personally rather poke my eyeballs out with an inkpen than read those books. Its funny that the only thing she knows enough to write a book about is being an heiress. Simply put, Paris is famous for being famous.

So you decide: is Paris Hilton fun and flirty or just downright dirty?!

Although it would seem that everything about her would be well known by now, here are some Paris Hilton factoids you may not know:

1. Paris was a cheerleader in high school and she claims to have an athletic talent.. What's her favorite sport? She professes a love of golf, but it remains to be seen whether she actually has talent, at least at this particular sport.
2. Paris Hilton is the great grand niece of another outspoken blond with the name Zsa Zsa Gabor. Why should this surprise us? Their personalities do have some similarities.
3. Paris is not a rags to riches story. She grew up in the ultra posh Waldorf Astoria Hotel where she and her sister, Nicki, apparently led the good life.
4. Always seeking center stage, Paris spent her early years modeling for such American designers as Tommy Hilfiger.
5. Paris apparently turned down an offer to pose nude from Playboy. She demurely promised that the public would never see her body unclothed. Can we really believe this from a girl who had a sex video publicized?
6. Not only does Paris Hilton smoke cigarettes, she actually makes them herself. Could this be because she's on a budget?
7. She has an altruistic nature. She and her sister have promoted charitable organizations such as Toys for Tots.
8. She's modest. She has called herself the “iconic blond of this decade”, comparing herself to another ambitious blond, Marilyn Monroe. Should Marilyn be flattered?
9. She was nominated for the not so flattering award of the worst celebrity role model of 2006 in a poll conducted by AOL and the Associated Press. She lost this competition to none other than Britney Spears.
10. She's related to Elizabeth Taylor by marriage. Maybe Elizabeth Taylor could give her a few career tips.

Now you know more than you probably wanted to know about the blond drama queen turned celebrity. Whether you like it or not, she'll probably be in the public eye for quite some time.

First go to any search engine, and find an online dictionary for your target language. For instance, if you want to learn French, find an online French-English English-French dictionary. You can find a good one at Wordreference.com . In fact, that same web site will provide you with Spanish-English English-Spanish, Italian-English English-Italian, and several others. Just select which dictionary you want to use, and you're all set. If you want, look up a few basic words like I, you, he, she, man, woman, etc. Keep this site open in your browser window.

Next, open a new browser window or tab, and use your search engine to find newspapers in the country where the population speaks your target language. For example, enter the words "France" and "newspaper." You will get back a list of web sites that have links to online newspapers in France. Go through the list and see which ones most resemble a gossip tabloid. Keep this window open. Why use a gossip rag? Well, they all run similar stories, and they use simple language. What better for a beginner?

Now, open a third window or tab, and go to any English language tabloid (The Sun at TheSun.co.uk is excellent) and read up on Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Victoria Beckham, or any other celebrity. Once you know the latest gossip, go back to your target language tabloid. You'll see many of the same stories. Since you already know what outrageous thing Paris had done lately, you can figure out what the words mean in your target language. For any words that give you trouble, you'll have your online dictionary handy to consult.

As long as Paris, Britney, and all the other “celebrities” keep up their antics, you'll have a supply of stories and new vocabulary. After you master the gossip rags, you can move on to mainstream newspapers. If you stay with the International News section, you'll find stories that appear in all the world's newspapers, and you'll already know what they cover. Honestly, politicians and world leaders provide much the same fodder for news as Paris and Britney do. Just keep applying the same process.

Just think, now you can read trashy gossip tabloids for educational purposes!

Nicole denied ever having any eating disorder, and also said "I am willing to gain any amount of pounds for this baby, numbers mean nothing now. I don't drink alcoholic drinks, go anywhere where someone is smoking or anything bad for the baby." I think this just shows us, she is ready. Unlike Paris Hilton, who said, "I didn't know", Nicole is accepting the consequences like a mature adult should. Having said, "Yes I was on drugs and I was driving but I will never do it again."

Its is clear, Nicole Richie is ready for this baby. She is clearly not as simple as she appear in her TV show, The Simple Life. Nicole is ready to go to Jail for her actions, she says. The time in jail may help her, bring her back to reality and make her a "new" person. At least we can all say, she's smarter then Paris Hilton.

The glamorous hotel heiress, Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in prison for violating her current probation. Lindsay Lohan posted bail and headed for rehab after an arrest for DUI and possession of drugs. She walked out and about a month later she is now in a rehabilitation clinic in Sundance, Utah after being arrested AGAIN for DUI and possession of an illegal drug.

Nicole Richie recently violated her DUI probation and a long history of illegal drug usage. But, the press should leave them alone because there are thousands of people everyday that do the same things. If one of your family members had some of the mishaps of these young stars would you like people telling the whole world! I wouldn't.

This view was corroborated by an analysis done by the LA Times, which found that her punishment was worse than that given to 80% of people under similar circumstances. Stan Goldman, criminal law professor at Loyola Law School had this to say: "Twenty-three days would be considerably more than the average person given her sentence would actually serve".

According to jail time statistics, 59% of people sentenced with DUI served five days or less in prison. Under the new program for avoiding overcrowding in jails, only the most harmful offenders as usually held for a longer sentence. And a young female celebrity probably isn't among the most harmful offenders.

Celebrity favoritism? More like celebrity un-favoritism.

I honestly don't get it. Why should a person who happens to be good-looking and is loaded with cash be treated like a god / goddess? It makes no sense at all. Paris Hilton has broken the law, she is by definition a criminal. Paris knew that she had violated her probation and should have expected no less.

Her drink-driving could have killed somebody. She has said that being in jail has been the hardest thing she has ever done - what all 25 days of it? So what if it's hard? Society has been robbed of her glorious presence for nearly a month - big deal! Families are robbed of their loved ones for life because of idiots like her.

Paris should be treated exactly the same as other criminals. She should receive the same counseling for her drink problems as anyone else would receive. That said, her cash will probably make sure that her counseling is extremely expensive - although I would question whether it's any more effective.

I hope Paris learns from this experience to behave less like a spoiled brat and more like a mature adult - although I doubt it. No doubt we'll soon be seeing her autobiography about her "hard time in jail" on the bookshelves. Once a writer can be found to do the job for her. This may sound cynical but I wonder whether her histrionics weren't carefully staged to enhance some kind of publicity stunt.

Celebrities being treated as some kind of superior beings is becoming quite worrying. NOBODY is above the law no matter how much money they have. NOBODY has the right to risk other peoples' lives because of their petty self-indulgences. In the UK and USA this "fame is the game" sickness has gone beyond a joke.

Does the judge have ADHD? Why couldn't the judge have worked more co-operatively with the parties concerned when Paris was released to serve her sentence at home? Obviously, there was a judgment made that Paris' well-being was in question - and I have a hard time believing that someone just flipped a coin and decided that she didn't have to stay at the jail!

It's a little galling, and a little unbelievable, that there is so much talk about how Paris' sentence should be handled just like anybody else's! Paris Hilton has never been treated like just anyone - and has always received special treatment - and now, all of a sudden, she's supposed to be treated just like everyone else - and in the worst way possible, by being sent to jail? And this is supposed to be fitting for her? It's not - she has no skills to cope with something like this - and shame on anyone for expecting her to.

What she definitely should receive, is a great deal of counseling while she is in jail - in the hopes of off-setting the mental break-down that she is dangerously close to, but mainly - and what I believe would do the most to educate her on the dangers of drinking and driving, is for her to take classes on the subject/along with visiting the families who have lost siblings/parents/children due to a drunk driver/and also doing community service at local hospitals - where there is bound to be victims recovering from accidents caused by an overindulgence (or by an indulgence, period) of alcohol, and also the perpetrators of drunken driving accidents.

In her defense - and it is only fair to point this out - Paris has never said that she would not serve her sentence, and recognizes that she has made mistakes and needs to correct those mistakes - but while the sentence should fit the crime - it should also fit the person in terms of long-term effectiveness, and benefit, to the individual in question, and to society.