Well, I bet you didn't know this:

When Brown first joined politics, he and Blair actually shared an office.

Brown is the longest serving chancellor in 200 years.

Brown's first child with his wife Sarah died 10 days after a premature birth in 2001. They have had two children since, but the second has been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis.

Brown has one blind eye due to a sporting accident as a teenager.

He only wore red ties to symbolise his socialist Labour background. That was until his wife Sarah persuaded him to branch-out into pastel colours.

Brown has used three word alliterative phrases 479 times in Parliament debates (which is well above average amongst MPs).

Charles Clarke accused Gordon Brown of being a "control freak", "deluded" and of having "psychological" problems.

Brown's exceptional intelligence meant that he entered the University of Edinburgh early, at just sixteen-years-old. He later graduated with a first class degree in history.

He has written several books including The Politics of Nationalism and Devolution (1980 with H.M. Drucker), Maxton (1986), Where There Is Greed (1989), and John Smith (1994; with James Naughtie).

Gordon Brown's wife Sarah feels strongly about mothers dying giving birth. She says: "There is no excuse for letting mums die as they give birth...it works out as one death every minute"

Stupidity Tax

I will vote for a candidate who proposes a tax on stupidity. This will reverse the national debt and allow blowhards of all ilks to put their money where their loud obnoxious mouths are. The grocery store that employs baggers that put the 10 pound bag of potatoes on top of the eggs would have to pay a stupidity tax.

Insurance Reform

I live in Florida. Insurance companies are very happy to drain my wallet and insure my home providing no one in the state of Florida ever files a claim. If anyone in the state of Florida does file a claim because of hurricane, they get very annoyed, terminate my policy and withdraw from the state. By the way, home insurance only covers damage due to wind. You need flood insurance to cover any damage done by water. This presumably is because not all hurricanes are wet. Insurance companies would be subject to the stupidity tax.

Pharmaceutical Company Advertising Reform

Pharmaceutical companies spend more on advertising than on research. I will vote for the candidate that promises to restrict drug advertising to press releases when the drug is put on the market. Further mention should be restricted to recalls or adverse reactions. Take all the money saved on advertising and reduce the prices of prescription meds. The only advertising that would be allowed would be public service announcements to raise awareness of a disease or condition. For example, osteoporosis is a serious condition. If you are a post-menopausal woman, talk to your doctor about a bone density test and treatment options. The company name and logo will be allowed to be displayed, but not the name of the drug. Who are you to be telling your doctor about a drug anyway? Who do you think knows more about it? If your doctor isn't aware of drug treatment options without your interference, you belong to a really bad HMO.

Campaign Reform

Television campaign ads cost megabucks and most of them make the Jerry Springer Show seem like a sermon. Candidates have to raise incredible amounts of money to mount a campaign for national office. How about only televising debates and town hall meetings? That's news. I'll vote for the candidate who proposes to use the money in the campaign war chest to reduce the national debt, fix the infrastructure and education of our kids.

Lobbyist Reform

Promise to feed all lobbyists to sharks or use them as subjects for medical experiments and you'll have my vote. Lobbying is just bribery and graft. It is institutionalized and sophisticated, but it is still bribery and graft. Perhaps the lobbyists who don't want to become shark chow can go to Iraq or some other garden spot and become hostages. Lobbyists who become hostages in foreign countries will not be allowed to return. Lobbyists should not be allowed to breed.

Food Additive/Food Labeling Reform

I'll vote for the candidate who proposes plain English on food labels. You shouldn't have to be a chemist to understand food labels. If the product has eggs in it, the label should say "Contains eggs". If the product contains sugar, it should say "Contains sugar". Currently, a product labeled as sugarless can contain high fructose corn syrup, evaporated cane juice, maltodextrin, and sucrose. FYI, your body thinks they are all sugar and will happily make fat out of them. There is zinc oxide in my breakfast cereal. That's what's in sun block. Is sunburn a big problem for breakfast cereal? Most of the stuff on food labels are unpronounceable and incomprehensible. What is disodium guanylate and why is it in my chicken soup? Will it give me cancer? Will it make me obese? Will it make me itch? Is that what gives it home-cooked flavor? Grandma made chicken soup and I don't remember her reaching for the sodium guanylate.

Credit Card Interest Rates

You'll earn my vote if you can explain why the usury laws don't apply to credit card companies. How come a credit card company can state in microscopic print that it can, at any time, for any reason, change your rate from outrageous to astronomical. The Mafia has better terms.

Petroleum Company Profits/Pricing

To get my vote, propose that oil companies take their obscene profits and either put the money into renewable energy or reduce prices. Alternatively, they could put money into researching renewable energy AND reduce prices.

CEO Salaries

I don't understand why the CEO of a company should earn three hundred times what the people who actually do the work earn. Currently, a CEO can run a company into bankruptcy and walk away with golden parachutes worth more than the GDP of some countries. If any of the rank and file did their job as poorly, they'd be fired. I'll vote for the candidate who proposes to fire the CEOs who are driving companies into the ground and give them a parachute of dog poo. Better yet, pay them on a commission-only basis.

Health Care

My congressperson has comprehensive health care. Doesn't he/she work for me? Don't I pay his/her salary? How come I don't have the same benefits? What kind of employer offers their employees health care and doesn't have it themselves? Either come up with something viable effective immediately or I'll send my medical and dental bills to my elected representative.

That's what I'd like to hear on the campaign trail—a lot less about whether pit bulls or pigs wear lipstick more about what's important to me. I'm listening.

Their innate ability to find north is believed to be a relic from the days when their wild ancestors needed an accurate sense of direction to migrate across the plains of Africa, Asia and Europe.

Dr Sabine Begall and colleagues from the University of Duisburg-Essen looked at thousands of images of cattle on Google Earth in Britain, Ireland, India and the USA. They also studied 3,000 deer in the Czech Republic. The deer tended to face north when resting or grazing.

Although, in many cases, the images were not clear enough to determine which way the cattle were facing they were aligned on a north/south axis.

The scientists concluded that they were behaving in the same way as the deer.

Huge variations in the wind direction and sunlight in the areas where the beasts were found meant that the scientists were able to rule out those factors as being responsible for the direction they were facing.

“We conclude that the magnetic field is the only common and most likely factor responsible for the observed alignment,” the scientists wrote in an article published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences journal.

It is already known that many species use the Earth’s magnetic field to navigate across the planet. Examples include migratory turtles, salmon, termites and birds.

Animals are thought to use their own internal magnets made of crystals of magnetite. Homing pigeons have a small amount of the substance on their beaks, which gives them their uncannily accurate powers of navigation.

1. I have no comment at this time. Ask me about this after the election.
2. Of course I have an opinion. However, I prefer to keep it to myself.
3. I can't answer any of these questions due to the sensitive nature of the subject matter. I would be more than happy to talk about my golf game.
4. I was for it before I was against it. I was against it before I was for it. Just write whatever you like. I'm going to one of my dozen homes.
5. I can't answer that question. Go talk to my staff. They are currently in Alaska. By the way, if you see Sarah Palin, will you please ask her to join me at some town hall meetings as my guest?
6. National security, lower taxes, deregulation, regulation, American flag, terrorism, blah blah blah. Do you get the point?
7. Everything that I believe in is wrapped up in a 30 second commercial
8. I am only talking to the local media. Furthermore, this only includes the weatherman and the sports reporter.
9. Sarah is like a China doll, easily breakable. She will answer questions about a host of areas in the upcoming months. Also, I would like to put an end to rumors that she dyes her hair. The nation can rest more comfortably tonight knowing this.
10. Welcome to my new policy concerning the press, See no evil, Hear no evil, and Speak no evil
11. Let me clear one thing up by being manipulative and deceptive about it. I am not a habitual liar. If you don't believe me, go ask Sarah Palin.
12. I agree to disagree about the agreement that I agreed to. For more enlightened conversations, please visit my webb site. I'm at mccaintrainfame.liarliarpantson fire.com.

You might think such advice is poor parenting. At best, you might feel it is some form of reverse psychology to get children to do homework, or at worst, just pure stupidity. Actually, this counsel is a wake-up call for “old school, do-your-homework” parents who still cling to the notion that an education is the best way to succeed. On the contrary, this advice is a reflection of an acute understanding of the present state of professional sports today. That state being one of money and youth. It is crucial for parents to understand this fact, an understanding that could lead to early retirement.

It is all really quite straightforward. Professional athletes are presently earning salaries greater than the Gross National Product of many countries and many who are being paid such large sums of money are very, very young. So young in fact, that kids who only just recently were able to stay home without a baby-sitter are now signing multi-million dollar contracts to play games and wear a particular brand of athletic shoes. Some of these kids reaping these windfalls are so young, they are signing their contracts with a crayon.

Besides the young age of these athletes, what makes this situation even more remarkable is that the level of play doesn't have to be particularly outstanding to command such huge salaries. Third-string quarterbacks make more money that their coaches. Baseball players who can't hit their weight still earn over a million dollars a year. Basketball players who ride the bench, wearing baggy shorts and more tattoos that every member of the Seventh Fleet and Hell's Angels combined, earn salaries that rival CEOs of top corporations. And they all make more money than the President of the United States.

It is obvious that despite the protestations of many team owners, there is a lot of money to be had in the world of professional athletics. Not only is there a lot of money available, there are many more opportunities to receive this money because of the expansion of franchises over the years. And since this expansion has led to a dwindling talent pool, it is easier to become a pro nowadays. Athletes who wouldn't have made the roster for the Podunk Porcupines in years gone by now play for big time teams and take home sums of money that would even get Bill Gates' attention.

The bottom line is that in the present climate, it appears that kids who prefer recess and gym to math and science may be showing a greater wisdom than their parents and teachers. It is apparent that playing kids games is now definitely a valid career choice, even if the player isn't the most athletic kid on the block.

The following conversation, which should be read by all parents of either male or female children, illustrates an extremely salient point concerning your child's future…

High School Coach: “Come on in, Joey. Have a seat. I called you to my office because there is a basketball scout from the NBA here to see you.”

Joey: “Someone from the NBA wants to see me?”

High School Coach: “Well, not exactly. Actually he wanted to see Jumping Jerome Jackson, Sammy the Skyscraper, and Dunking Devon, but since they've already signed pro contracts, he said he'd talk to you.”

Joey: “Golly, coach, you'd think he'd want to see Willie the Water Boy before he'd see me. Willie got into more games than I did.”

High School Coach: “As a matter of fact, he did want to see him, but Willie also has signed a pro contract. He got a deal to play for the new franchise in Secaucus, New Jersey. (Knock on the door.) There's Sam now. Come on in, Sam. Joey, this is Sam Skywalker. I'll leave you two alone.”

Sam: “Nice to meet you, Joey. Your coach has told me a lot about you. I think you just might fit into our team, but there are a few questions I'd like to ask you. First of all, what was your scoring average this season?”

Joey: “Well, I only got to play in one game, but I did make a basket. My shot was a little low, but it bounced off my teammate Fat Freddy's head and it went right in. Freddy thought he should get credit, but heck, I shot the ball, low or not.”

Sam: “How many times did you shoot in that game?”

Joey: “Just once. No one would pass me the ball.”

Sam: “Hey, kid, that's a 100 percent shooting average. Impressive. Did you do anything else in the game? Get any rebounds?”

Joey: “I almost got one. I was in good position, but Fat Freddy got in my way and ended up pushing me into the bleachers just as the ball came off of the rim.”

Sam: “That's too bad, but it's good to know you were at least in the right position for the rebound. Are you a good passer? Did you get any assists in the game you played?”

Joey: “Hey, if they won't pass the ball to me, then I'm not passing to them! I just like to do my own thing, if you know what I mean.”

Sam: “I know exactly what you mean. You're a take charge kind of guy. You want the ball in your hands when the game in on the line. We need players like that. Okay, let's talk defense. Are you a good defensive player?” Joey: “I don't really know for sure. I only tried it once, but I got too tired chasing my man all over the floor. I guess I might have some potential though. It's not like I totally passed out or anything.”

Sam: “Of course not, and you said the magic word, “potential.” We in the NBA love potential. That's why we have a draft. Now, just one more quick question. What do you feel are the strong points of your game?”

Joey: “Golly, I haven't really thought about that. I never actually realized I had a game . Well, let me see, I'm real good at lining up on the free-throw line, I've never jumped in the lane too soon, and I can tie my sneakers so that they stay tied.”

Sam: “Wow, lining up on the free-throw is becoming a lost art. You'd be surprised at how many guys haven't mastered that kind of fundamental. And being good at tying your shoestrings is also great. Shoe manufacturers will love that.

Okay, I think I've heard enough. Let's talk contract. Even though your statistics don't put you in the great category, like, say, Jumping Jerome, or even in the good-player category, the water boy had those kind of stats, I think you just might have the potential… remember that magic word…to possibly become a journeyman type of player. We are willing to take that chance on you because the reward is worth the risk.

So, here's the offer, and please don't get insulted, because once you factor in the money you can get doing commercials, it really isn't too bad. Joey, we're prepared to pay you one million dollars a year. What do you say?”

Joey: “Man, that's a lot of money, but I just don't know. Maybe I should stay and finish high school. I'll be a senior next year and I'm kind of looking forward to going to the prom.”

Sam: “Playing hard to get, huh? I can understand that, but I'm afraid the offer is the best I can make considering your qualifications. If only there was something else you could bring to the table.”

Joey: “Well, I do have a tattoo on each leg and I'm planning on getting another one on my forehead.”

Sam: “What? Why didn't you tell me this before? That's terrific stuff. We love tattoos and we love potential. Joey, now that I know about the tattoos, I can add a half million to the offer. And I'll tell you what, since we really need a wide body next year, if you can get me Fat Freddy, I'll double the offer.”

There you have it, the opportunity that now exists in the wonderful world of professional sports. As Marlon Brando bemoaned in “On The Water Front,” “I coulda been a contender!” Well, into today's society, just being a contender can make for a very comfortable living. Winning is not everything, especially when just having a chance at winning pays so well! Parents, it's not too late. Go to your kids' rooms right now and snatch those textbooks away and replace them with a ball or some sort of sports apparatus. They just might be contenders.

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Since they started it, let's take this time to look at the meanings and origins of 6 funny sayings involving pigs.

"Lipstick on a pig"

Meaning:  The act of trying to make someone or something unattractive more appealing to others even though it will obviously remain unattractive.
Origin:  There has been similar sayings to this tracked back as far as 300 years with the similar saying "making a silk purse out of a sow's ear".  The exact phrase itself "lipstick on a pig" has been tracked in newspaper articles to as early as 1955 when a representative of Colorado called overhauls to child-support amendments cosmetic... "It's like putting lipstick on a pig.  When you're through, it's still a pig".  Similar sayings include:  "lipstick on a donkey" and "lipstick on a frog".

"Pig in a poke"

Meaning:  An offer or deal that is accepted foolishly without being examined.
Origin:  The earliest example of this saying that has been found is in Richard Hill's Common Place Book from 1530, which gave this advice to market traders: "When ye proffer the pigge open the poke."  This makes no sense until you realize that a poke is a small bag and is the origin of the word pocket.  I guess that a piglet could be carried perfectly in such a small bag.  When you buy something you should make sure it's what you wanted to buy and not just a pig.

"Pearls before Swine"

Meaning:  A high quality item which is offered to someone who cannot appreciate it.
Origin:  The earliest example of this saying is in the King James Bible:  "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet".  If you offer something of high value  to someone who is uncultured they will surely ruin it.

"Pig's Ear"

Meaning:  There are two distinctly different meanings of this term.  The first is cockney rhyming slang for beer.  The second meaning is a mess or muddle.
Origin:  The earliest origin is from the cockney rhyming slang.  From W. Barrett's Book Life and Work Among Navvies in 1880:  "Now, Jack, I'm goin' to get a tiddley wink of pig's ear."  I'm not sure what the tiddley wink is referring to but he's definitely telling Jack he's going to get a beer.

"Pig and Whistle"

Meaning:  Pub.  It's a common name for British or British-style pubs.
Origin:  Has been found as early as 1794 to refer to going to pigs and whistles meaning falling to ruin.  In the Scottish poem Har'st Rig: "For he to pygs and whistles went, And left the land."  A "pig" has also been known to mean an earthen ware pot or pitcher.  There's a pig and whistle in the city I live in.  Theme bars have appropriate the name world wide.

"High on the Hog"

Meaning:  Affluent or luxurious.
Origin:  The earliest use of this is from Henry Louis Mencken in 1941 in the Nevada State Journal:  "There was the customary amount of tear-shedding over business, but certain shows prospered. Among those still eating high on the hog - to filch a dandy from Mr. Mencken - are 'Sons of Fun', Let's Face It'..."  Eating high on the hog means doing very well.

Biscardi in the past has been involved in some Bigfoot hoaxes and this has ruined his creditability.

Biscardi appeared on Fox news swearing that this is the real thing. Biscardi stated that he touched the frozen corpse and he was positive that this was a Bigfoot. He even invited the fox news correspondent out to view the body.

On Friday Aug 15th the team held a press conference in California about the DNA findings. The DNA samples were taken from the intestine region of the of the corpse and the tests came back as inconclusive, human and opossum. Also during this press conference the team of Whitton and Dyer kept stumbling on their words and things just didn't seem to add up. For instance a reporter asked if they always take video cameras with them hunting. Their story was that they were just out hunting, and now they had video footage of Bigfoot. Also one of the hunters stayed behind while the other had to go back and get the truck to carry the corpse out. This was a time period of over 9 hours! All during this time Whitton (one of the hunters) said he was being surrounded by many Bigfoot creatures. I wouldn't leave my buddy alone in the woods like that.

After Biscardi revealed that they have a Bigfoot corpse, Jerry Parrino owner of an internet costume shop claimed that the Bigfoot was wearing one of his costumes!

During the weekend Biscardi sent Steve Kulls to Georgia to examine the body. Kulls reported that after thawing out the corpse it was clear that the corpse was wearing rubber feet. This confirms the costume that Parrino said was his internet shops costume. Kulls also reported that the hair on the corpse burns like plastic.

Biscardi, who paid the original two hunters (Whitton and Dyer) an undisclosed sum of money, went into crisis mode. Whitton and Dyer admitted it was a hoax. Biscardi demanded his money back and arranged a meeting at 0800 Monday morning to have the two men sign a promissory note. Whitton and Dyer never showed up. The two good ol' boys from Georgia outsmarted everyone and ran out with Biscardi's money.

The video of the press conference can be seen here. The video is approximately 45 minutes long.

At the press conference Biscardi stated that the Bigfoot hunters gave him DNA samples to get them analyzed. What could this DNA be compared to? Who are these scientists that are sampling the DNA and analyzing the body? When asked about the DNA evidence, the hunters said they are expecting it to come back soon. One of the hunters said the DNA sample to him looked Human-Ape. It's really interesting that this hunter who discovered the body said the DNA was not ready, but he already had a look at it. He did not produce it, and this regular guy was able to analyze the DNA?!

Later one Biscardi said he had a copy of the DNA and will give it to the reporters. He said the DNA was analyzed by one scientist with the evidence showing tests as inconclusive, human and opossum. He said that the DNA samples came from the intestines. Why would they have sent a hair sample?

It interesting that at certain times the hunters stated that the DNA is being analyzed and then at other times they stated "when the scientists" look at the evidence and body the DNA will be produced. Clearly these men are stumbling on their own words and they don't have their story straight. While the hunter's were taking questions from the press and stumbling, Biscardi would frequently interrupt to clarify his statements. Clearly Biscardi is the "mastermind" behind this hoax.

They also said that scientists have not performed an autopsy yet. So they have taken DNA samples and not performed a basic autopsy? Of course they disclosed their next plan to catch a live Bigfoot. I think this is a plan to raise money for their next escaped.

At the press conference, no body was produced. I find it peculiar that the people who discovered the body were wearing their "finest" baseball caps that advertised their Bigfoot hunting expedition company. The hunters were very flustered when being confronted with questions from reporters. Biscardi became flustered when confronted with his past hoaxes.

I think one of the hunters put it best when he said “I didn't know how big this thing was going to get” and “we haven't made any money from this yet.” Towards the end of the video the hunter said “We were just having a good time, and then Tom (Biscardi) got involved.”

Their story is so full of holes. Be prepared for another hoax.

Nuts, a 13 year old spayed female cat has gone missing, probably because of the spectacular fireworks display that occurred just before the cat disappeared. Unfortunately, Nuts had recently been implanted with radioactive iodine as a treatment for an over-active thyroid gland. The owner of the cat, Michelle Reeves says "She would still be radioactive."

Ms. Reeves is warning people not to touch the cat, and to leave her alone. She tells people that they can leave some water out for her if they want.

Normally, radioactive acts are kept in isolation at a clinic, but Nuts was released and told to remain in quarantine in Ms. Reeve's garage. On, Saturday night after the fireworks, the door found open and Nuts had gone.

Nuts' co-owner Chelsea Reeves hope that's stories about cats making it home from being away for so long are true. Here's hoping that Nuts returns home safely to the Reeves household.

 

A parking meter official goes to collect money from a "pay and display" parking meter. Upon opening the door, urine floods out.

Every night at around 9pm the nearby security camera picks up a young male urinating into the parking meter. The man was obviously a regular to the parking lot. He also shouldn't have been surprised to see his face on the national news because right next to the parking meter was a sign saying; "Surveillance camera operating in this area." The 18-year old kitchen hand soon turned himself in at the local Napier police station.

The police nicknamed the man, "Piddler on the roof," because the meter was on the second floor of the building. The operators of the building believed that he had urinated in the meter four or five times.

The un-named youth will appear in the Napier district court for intentional damage charges.